Honesty #2

A while ago I made a post about honesty. It was about telling the truth and – in human interactions – not to play the game. I would like to extend it with a note about just being kind. If you tell the truth to someone, not with the intent of being harmful, but with the deeply rooted intention of telling someone something with good intention, I think it could make any relationship stronger. 

I say this, and back when I wrote my last post, I also practiced it. And it was liberating. Now there is a reason as to choose to write a second post on the subject. And there is a reason as to why I write it tonight and not tomorrow morning: I think I need to get the words out before I attempt any sleep. 

Today I was reminded of a serious flaw of mine: I interrupt people. Not for the sake of being rude and not for the sake of talking about myself, but it can seem that way, and I am really ashamed about it. I am working on it, and I do believe I am getting better, but no-one is perfect, right? Change doesn’t happen over night. I know where it comes from but I do not believe it is unchangeable. 

Anyway, my friend who pointed it out, had such difficulty telling me, and of course I understand why. I am amazed by her courage to address the issue and I feel ever so blessed to have a friend like her. As we talked about: you don’t (always) find it hard to yell at your boyfriend to change something, but when it comes to friendships it is somehow harder. This is a weird balance to me, since I believe both should be cherished. I don’t know if it is because “people” are generally more sure of one or the other thing, but at least it is food for thought. 

Now back on track. What I wanted to say, is that honesty – be it in relationships, friendships, be it about thoughts, things that bother you because the other person is perceived in a way that is not really the true reflection of this person, or whatever the case – should be a thing to strive for. But bear in mind you intention of this honesty. 

I am very influenced by the book that I am reading at the moment (written by Dalai Lama) and his point, as I understand it and choose to adapt, is that the intention you inflict on others should come from kindness and the will to help. In that way you will create positive karma and thereby also possible happiness for yourself and others. And this is exactly my point – or the understanding I got from my friend. She pointed out my flaw, for me to work on so that others might truly see me as she does.

So thank you for that. It stayed with me the whole day, which is amazing. And now it is writing which means it will stay with me for even longer. 

How blessed I am. 

Lots of love

And if you want to read the previous honesty-post, you can find it here

Back on track, yet again

Hey guys! I’m back. Yeeeew… My mood is completely liftet and I feel motivated AF. First of all, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life – work wise – but I have accepted it and I know what I want from the rest. And also, it’s a lie… Because I kinda know what I want in my “work life”, I just don’t quite know how to go about it, and that’s what I am working on at the moment. But with no resentment, just motivation. 

I read an article the other day on the danish philosopher Morten Albæk, who talks about the paradoks of work-life-balance. His key point (from my interpretation) is that this is not a thing. You can’t separate work and life, because your life is happening all the time, and you have to accept that. I read this article in the middle of my gloomy-nothing-works-for-me-period, and I believe it helped pulling me out of my mental stoner. 

I get so affected by other peoples brilliance, and I am very aware of the fact. Therefor I tend to read books on self development, views of life etc. and it helps me a lot. I don’t tend to follow rules like a slave, but I like to get ideas and implement them in my own way of thinking. And the article about mr. Albæk helped. No question. And for that particular reason, I should also get a hold of his new book, since thats the place where he really talkes about it. *Note to self! 

Okay, anyways… This has turned into a ramble. As I said my motivation is back, and I am working with the difference between what people expect and what it actually is that I want. And getting myself closer to the ladder. I fixed some things for me to work on in the future and found a way to remove myself from my day to day trivialities. Trivialities that I normally tend to be very fund of but that – for now – needs to change. More about that later, because that is a surprise. HA! 

Clearly can’t stand still when there is a combination of cold weather and a funny photographer // By Lisbeth Vestergård

For now, I’ll go shoot some pictures at an event and enjoy a night out with a most loved friend tonight. Yay.

If you wanna read the (danish) article about Morten Albæk, you can find it here.
Lots of love

Break out of your bad habits

I talked a little about it on my Instagram account the other day, but I would actually like to elaborate. I happen to see myself as quite the cheery type, but lately – hence my latest post – I have been in a bit of a gloom. I believe it is changing again and I am very pleased. I do, however, believe it is of my own doing, and let me tell you why:

First of all, it comes very natural to me – being happy. I suspect it is a coping mechanism (sometimes), but if thats the case, I can live with that. It allowed me to get over heartbreaks, hectic times and heavy arguments, and that works for me. 

I am very, very bad at holding a grudge – to the point where people get annoyed on my behalf and I tell them that they should get over it since I have long moved on – and I think that these two personality traits of mine, work in a form of symbiosis. It least when it comes to heartbreaks, arguments and I suspect, being treated horribly. 

Now, the reason – I think – I was in such a gloom was part due to a self-inflicted “stress” level (i put stress in inverted commas since I have quite a high respect for stress, and that is not what I had) regarding all my projects caused by slightly bad management and seriously bad timing sprayed with a bit of Christmas holiday. The other reason I was feeling like *%€&#, I think was a feeling of hopelessness regarding my future, but I do believe it hits all of us sometimes. 

Here is my solution however: Force yourself out of your bad habits. Seriously. I feel the happiest when I am busy with things I love, but sometimes it tilts me over – it is such a knife-edge to balance on for me. When I feel too busy, I seriously sabotage my own life, and I know I am not the only one. If I’m behind on a schedule and I am at home, I turn on a movie or start doing the dishes. What is up with that!? 

Now Thursday I was writing on a piece for Bæredygtig By dangerously nearing a postponed deadline, and actually it was an article that I was looking forward to writing. I published it all the way to the end even though I have had weeks to prepare it, but prior to this Thursday, I spend days and days, opening the document, looking at words already written, listening to the interview, getting all ready and then shutting it down. I knew it was counterproductive but I couldn’t help it. 

Whenever I get in this state, I now know what I need to do (I think I knew before, but at least I was reminded again). I need to leave the house. I went to a cafe, but whatever works for you – remember that. I need to be amongst people, because I will feel embarrassed if I am then not productive, and further more I like the vibe. I like being myself but still surrounded, I like dressing up and getting out of my sweatpants (yes, it truly helps), and I can’t help it… I like looking busy and in control. If I look it, it changes me. I guess it’s a real life inaction on “fake it till you make it”? 

So anyways. Ones again: Break out of your bad habits and find time to do what actually inspires you and makes you happy. 

Now how is this for a new and improved focus on this blog of mine… You are very welcome… 

Okay, jokes aside: please if you found this interesting, inspiring or just vaguely familiar, please comment below. It would mean a lot to hear your thought.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. I spend mine with family and then this afternoon with wonderful Lisbeth, who has the blog Moonligt Madness, drinking coffee and shooting some pictures. Such a star, this one.

Anyways. Cheers and lots of love

Hello, life of the unemployed 

My current spot. Uh and I forgot to mention… I had my arm inked.

Sometimes I get the feeling that leaving a place, a situation or people is harder on others, compared to me. Not to say that I don’t get sad and that it makes for big changes – especially leaving important people – but for me, it is never truly goodbye. It might be that I live in the bliss of ignorance, but then please, let me stay here.  Continue reading “Hello, life of the unemployed “