A while ago I made a post about honesty. It was about telling the truth and – in human interactions – not to play the game. I would like to extend it with a note about just being kind. If you tell the truth to someone, not with the intent of being harmful, but with the deeply rooted intention of telling someone something with good intention, I think it could make any relationship stronger.
I say this, and back when I wrote my last post, I also practiced it. And it was liberating. Now there is a reason as to choose to write a second post on the subject. And there is a reason as to why I write it tonight and not tomorrow morning: I think I need to get the words out before I attempt any sleep.
Today I was reminded of a serious flaw of mine: I interrupt people. Not for the sake of being rude and not for the sake of talking about myself, but it can seem that way, and I am really ashamed about it. I am working on it, and I do believe I am getting better, but no-one is perfect, right? Change doesn’t happen over night. I know where it comes from but I do not believe it is unchangeable.
Anyway, my friend who pointed it out, had such difficulty telling me, and of course I understand why. I am amazed by her courage to address the issue and I feel ever so blessed to have a friend like her. As we talked about: you don’t (always) find it hard to yell at your boyfriend to change something, but when it comes to friendships it is somehow harder. This is a weird balance to me, since I believe both should be cherished. I don’t know if it is because “people” are generally more sure of one or the other thing, but at least it is food for thought.
Now back on track. What I wanted to say, is that honesty – be it in relationships, friendships, be it about thoughts, things that bother you because the other person is perceived in a way that is not really the true reflection of this person, or whatever the case – should be a thing to strive for. But bear in mind you intention of this honesty.
I am very influenced by the book that I am reading at the moment (written by Dalai Lama) and his point, as I understand it and choose to adapt, is that the intention you inflict on others should come from kindness and the will to help. In that way you will create positive karma and thereby also possible happiness for yourself and others. And this is exactly my point – or the understanding I got from my friend. She pointed out my flaw, for me to work on so that others might truly see me as she does.
So thank you for that. It stayed with me the whole day, which is amazing. And now it is writing which means it will stay with me for even longer.
How blessed I am.
Lots of love
And if you want to read the previous honesty-post, you can find it here