So many thoughts and so many feelings

I have had a quite solid feeling of being beside myself lately. Like a lump in my belly that hurts, a need for crying (haven’t done that yet, except if you count an outburst at my mom during Christmas) and a feeling of being a little behind all the time.  And quite frankly, that is very far from how I want to see myself, actually. 

I have also had a feeling that I’ve lost my end goal. One of my main focuses on this blog is to remind myself – and hopefully (maybe) inspire others – how I want to live my life. How I want to be towards others, what focusses I have and what I choose to prioritise. Of course there will also be everyday things, but I try to keep a little element of the above, in everything. Except, I’ve lost it now, it seems. 

This is also (one of) the reasons I have been absent both here, and also a bit on my Instagram account. I have spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to do, how I want to go about it and so on. In December I attended an event with Fynske Influencers, focusing on exactly this: what is your core focus on your blog, and for me, it was such a good experience to get other peoples views on this. But not until now, have I gotten around to put it in a written context. 

Another reason I have been absent, links to my feeling of being a little behind, all the time. I’ve started a new project – Bæredygtig By – which I am super passionated about. But it takes a lot of energi and I have had to create some systems for myself to ease this. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m working on it. 

Then to top it all off, I am still looking for a job – like, a paid one – and I am having difficulty pinpointing what exactly I want to be doing. I am aware that I might not be landing my dream job in the first go, but on the other hand, I have tried working in a job that was not good for me, and I wont be going back to that sort of thing, any time soon. 

So yeah… These past couple of weeks have not been too good for me. Mind you, I have seen a lot of amazing people and I have had a lot of fun, but in the deep end, its been quite hard actually. Anyways, it helps writing it down and getting it out there. 

Now to the point – at least concerning this blog and its future.  

Current Living keeps on being a very important factor for me. Staying in the moment, reflecting, feeling, realizing what sensations you might experience. I am currently (re)reading, a book by Gitte Jørgensen et al., that I tend to read every time I loose my way. I also read it every time I start something new – except I forgot this time, so I am a few month behind, but now my state of mind made me do it, and it is good for me. 

Sustainability has also, during the last couple of years, become more and more important to me. I believe we need to make drastic changes in order for our planet to survive, and whatever little thing I can do – and maybe tell about – I’ll do. These two subjects, Current Living and sustainability, should probably be my main areas of focus, but then there is the water. And the water sports. The thing is, though, the water sports is not for the sport of it. It’s for the “now”. When I practice it, I feel completely calm and concentrated, and that is a feeling I don’t get anywhere else. It’s a feeling of being free, a slight feeling of danger and such a relaxing way of being completely exhausted. I simply love it, and I can’t help but share it. 

Now, I am also not gonna be able to leave my everyday talk out of any content, but I believe it wouldn’t feel like me, if I did. And If I get to travel this next year, that would be included as well, but this – for me – is just a natural thing, that makes this blog both down to earth and personal, and that is exactly what I am aiming for. 

Okay guys, this was quite a long rant, but see it as a form of a New Years promise from me. And a reminder to myself. And then just thank you to whom ever is reading, if any. Otherwise it’s just for me.

2 thoughts on “So many thoughts and so many feelings”

  1. Den der følelse af knugen i maven og ikke helt at føle sig glad og sig selv? Åh, hvor jeg kender den! Tror den er et resultat af at have for meget tid til at tænke og af konstant at skulle præsentere sig selv. Og selvom vi fylder dagene med alt muligt, gør det det på en måde ikke bedre, for vi har stadig ikke nået det store mål: JOBBET *indsæt selv englekor*. Det er lort, og jeg håber inderligt, at du får hevet dig selv ud af sumpen hurtigere end jeg gør, for det er ikke noget sjovt sted at være…

    Kæmpe knus til dig!

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