Current living #5 – Who am I kidding!?

You know all this stupid (it’s not stupid) talk about current living? Shiiit… It’s not always easy. At least not when I think it just means “stay in the moment”. I forget that it does not mean “don’t think about any future” and “don’t have questions about the decisions that you are making”. Not to me, anyways. I just forget sometimes and then I give myself a hard time about it on top of that. Seems counterproductive, no?

For me, current living is not just being in the now. It’s also about that, for sure, but for me it is also about being conscious. Conscious about what life you want to live and what dreams you have. Be aware of those dreams but focus on what you can do at the moment. Does that make sense?

I’m down to single digets on this island, and this is what brought me to think about the subject. There are people here, that I am not ready to leave, at all… maybe ever… and everyone keeps telling me to stay in the moment. And I am, but then again I am also very aware that the time is running out and that it should be treasured. But isn’t that thinking about the future as well?

Zanzibar has been such an experience for me, and I am completely in love. Not only with the island (it also has it’s downsides) but with the people that I have met. People who are now scattered around the globe – quite literally. People that I wanna keep in contact with, and I don’t know how. Again!! Thinking about the future. 

I very vaguely talked about some dreams that I have, in my last post, and one of these dreams is rooted in this concern. I love people, especially my people, and I want to live a life where I can see my people when I want. I dream about a life with flexibility and possibilities. A life with variation and change (that can come as no surprise to the people who know me well… My mind is so flimsy!). 

Now, how to?! Ideally I imagine that if I get the chance to do some freelance work – both writing and graphic work – plus find myself a way to get some income from other places (maybe even this blog here) I would be sorted. I don’t need to earn a lot, I just want to live. Live a meaningful and grounded life, that is (too zen?!). To take a point out of The 4-hour Work Week by Tim Ferris: “You don’t want a million dollars on your bank account. You want to live like you have a million dollars on your bank account”. I believe he is right. I just want the possibilities.

And shame on me! I want, and I want… “Go out and get it, you old fart!” “Yeah, take a chill pill, I am getting there… Pole pole (swahili)!” And yes, this is how I communicate with myself.

Anyways, back on track. So current living, for me, should be living consciously with this wonderful life that I am creating for myself, but who am I kidding!? I can’t ignore that I think about my future, my plans and my concerns.

I love the ocean here, the matter how it looks… And it looks different every day.

Okay, this was a deep one… And on a monday even. You are welcome.
Have a wonderful one!
Lots of love

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